Tuesday, November 11, 2008

hold on

yesterday, i visited my dear friend lhove. whenever i can, i hang out sa house nila... so i could stay away from negative thoughts, sadness, boredom... in short to keep me sane. we usually talk about a lot of things. topics like our fave or most hated tv shows, movies, books, people... love life and life in general... or simply catching up on each other. we're always like that. eversince we became friends some years ago, we never run out of things to talk about. may sense man o wala...

nakwento ko kay lhove how happy i am sa nakikita kong changes sa bf ko. the way he reacts to a difficult situations. how he looks at things differently, possitively. changes na kusa na lang nangyari. not that i wanted him to change or something but nakakatuwa lang. i guess, ganun talaga. things change over time and so do people. and those changes in him inspire me. napaisip ako, how come i am so nega these days? ano na nangyari sa dating ako? ang ako na matapang, driven, optimistic... sa mga ganitong kwento at drama ko sa buhay, nakikinig si lhove. thanks to her!

bakit ba ako ganito? di ako pwede magpakita kay lhove na mahina ako. baka manghina rin sya. dapat ako ang nagpapalakas ng loob nya. para hindi nya maisip na hopeless case na sya. dahil naniniwala ako na gagaling sya! she's sick and needed an operation. for more than a year now, nasa bahay lang sya dahil sa kanyang heart condition. there are times na nagrereklamo sa sya dahil sa boredom. nauubusan na sya ng pwedeng gawin para malibang. she even admits that sometimes she wishes na... matapos na lang lahat. matapos ang buhay nya. nahihirapan na sya. pero mas iniisip nya ang sacrifice na ginagawa ng mother nya sa pag aalaga sa kanya. sa mga ganitong usapan, i try my best not to cry. if only may magagawa ako aside from praying na gumaling na sya. sana maapprove na ung medical assistance from the foundation na tutulong sa kanya.

i don't know how to end this... naiiyak na ako.

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