i can't believe this is all happening to me now. i cry myself to sleep and wake up crying again. i want to pretend that i'm ok with it all... i am stronger but it won't change the fact that i'm deeply hurt. i am now in a point where i have no control over the situation. or it's more on a confusion. my heart says go back to save our relationship. but my mind could come up with a lot of reasons to stay here a little longer.